More Time

I woke because of the twitching chain attached to the manacle around my neck that stretches to the backdoor to the first cigarette of the day. I could say that smoker looks like a poet. He's a cosmo metro hetro hanging on the morning in his Ethiopian dressing gown, bought by the Merkato in Addis. He stands with cigarette held high as smoke pirouettes in likewise poses that twist and become blue inky stratocumulus lenticularis about him. I could pretend it’s kinda fun kinda stylish, the Winehouse way.

But that first cigarette? THAT FIRST CIGARETTE establishes who’s the pimp and who’s the crack whore. Tell you a secret. Yesterday I tip toed out the house into the field. Enough is enough I said to myself and I did not light the cigarettes but poured water over them. It’s been twenty four hours since that moment. I woke midnight, this morning at 4.30am. I wrote this at 5.11am. I am posting it at 8.50am…no. 9.30am. It's all good. As the Caribbean saying goes More Time

4 thoughts on “More Time

  1. Hi Lemn,
    You'll win through, moment by moment..
    Addiction=Despair. We all use or absue something, addicted to sick behaviours or habits thinking it's just the way we are. That fix seeming like a close friend an ally, or a raft in troubled waters where we can float a while, get relief from the 'not waving but drowning' struggle of daily life.
    I gave up fags but have found it harder to extricate myself from a person who's not good for me.

  2. Hi Anonymous, most people don't mean to be anonymous on here but it's the default setting so I have conversations with noone from nowhere that always lead somewhere for someone and that's okay by me. Thanks for your encouraging words and here's to the strength you'll need to step away from that “person who's not good”. xL

  3. Fifth day for you, sixth day for me.
    I never made the connection between Winehouse and quitting. Perhaps it was subconscious. There are a few more of us who quit only this week x

  4. hey I hadn't made that connection either but I have since met three people who have stopped. Spooky. I am not going back. For a start there's the dry cleaning bill that is now seventy five percent less, the four thousand pounds a year I will save. My health will gain. My face is brighter. I am more present, I was always disappearing to have a cigarette, to extricate myself. I am cool with others smoking but I will not. All I ned to do is swim the three weeks and then all will be well.

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