Does my life seem busy? Does it seem that I’m confident? I can confidently tell you that I am busy. No more busier than a single mother making ends meet and I’ve a lot less to lose too. Perspective is everything. I may have seemed to be walking forward since January 2nd. In fact I was receding. And I continued to recede in an emotional moonwalk until mid may.
In the display of events and openings, the handshakes and speeches I have been a shadow since January. Depression hits the strongest at their weakest spot. My morning tweets stopped. That’s the number one sign. In May the shadow lifted as the plane hit the sky from Cape Town. It was a conversation with my Godmother Ethiopia Alfred that triggered something.
Thanks for reading this and for being here. Thanks for each of thousands of birthday wishes that flew to me on May 21st. I am writing this blog because if you only see me shining then I’m lying to you. If you get this… this whatever-you-wanna-call-it I want you to know it’s going to be okay. All shadows are defined by light..
Postscript: I am very happy at the moment. Not ridiculously ecstatic. Not unnaturally enthusiastic. Life is good is all. This is why I wanted to share. I have said before “I am not defined by my scars but by the incredible ability to heal”. This is true. But scars hurt sometimes. Especially when you poke them.
(photograph by Greg Williams)