I am not accepting a Member of The British Empire “on behalf of the community” nor “on behalf of others like me.” I am definitely not accepting it “because my mum wants to go to the palace”. It feels disingenuous or discourteous, possibly even deceitful, to accept an award then say you’re accepting it on behalf of others when in fact it is given to you.   more »

And finally Jude Kelly the artistic director of Southbank Centre and my residency sponsored by The Paul Hamlyn Foundation has made all of what is here possible and the following. In six hours time I shall be named an MBE for services to literature.   more »

Context is relative and relativity a factor of memory: ever heard the memory trick in how to recall your pin number by unconnected images. I am often advised by the well meaning not to assume that families are great when in fact I don’t. I just value memory is all. But why make it public?   more »

It's a list. There are no links Just a whole list of good people.   more »

“Don’t get me wrong.” He says shaking his head from side to side as the plane gulps down towards the runway “ I’m not a racist.” I hadn’t said he was “ My own children are half caste.” He passes me his card and I feel my stomach turn as the wheels skid onto the runway.   more »

“we have no money” said the American man “leave us alone”. I squeezed out the words “Bag!!”. The American man looked at me “stand back Arlene” he said to his wife and took the stance of a thai kick boxer. His distended handed curled a finger at me “let’s do this” he said.   more »

It’s a molten sun. Life is good and the world is waking. At 8am I walk the length of Bethnal Green Road where the market traders are setting out stalls. Tarpaulin skin slides over skeletal frames and goods are unloaded from vans.   more »

I was struggling to keep myself together. It was like watching the twin towers crumble and tumble under the stress. A moment came when what was who I am fell in slow motion, each floor collapsing on the other, each problem compounding, a concertina of collapsing consciousness until one morning I awoke and all was dust.   more »

As this happened the fireworks (not candles) upon the gigantic 30th anniversary cake threw Fountains of hissing golden sparks to the ceiling. The bells continued ringing causing a mexican wave of goosepimples to ripple through the crowd and through me.    more »

Tonight it's the workers shindig, a Christmas party in the reception area of The Queen Elizabeth Hall it kicks off at 7.30pm with an X factor spoof on a largescreen suspended above the stage in which I am a dysfunctional contestant. Typecast again.   more »

I’m three hundred miles away in what was once the Mill Masters house. I’m on the edge of a valley in Heptonstall. Mist obscures the town below and above within clearest sky a crescent moon. . Sylvia Plath’s grave is just beyond the ruins of an old church only ten minutes away. Her shadow stretches over this house and sleeps inside.    more »

There is something of loss in exile and something exiled in loss.   more »

Out of the blue this morning I received a message. It is both an apology and a request I amend or omit a reference to Bloodaxe on my website.   more »

On the first anniversary of his passing away the poem I chose was Adrian Mitchells To Whom it May Concern   more »

Then upon the stage the pianist enters to applause tilts his head gently forward and sits. Sniff. As if gently pushing a rowing boat out upon a lake he begins, his fingers like the feet of a ballet dancer skip across the keys. Achoo!   more »

Here’s the place to say I am doing no poetry readings until October 2010. I’ll be doing lots of other things but no poetry readings. This means turning down thousands and thousands and thousands of pounds worth of work. Is this a good idea or a bad idea? What are the benefits or pitfalls of of the decision?   more »

As I arrived two people were watching: Ian McEwan the husband shoulder to shoulder with Annalena McAfee the wife and both in total concentration upon my film . It would be rude to disturb them wouldn’t it? I decided to wait. While waiting it dawned What if they hate it and then turn around and I’m stood here.   more »

In the middle of the talk I found my emotions caught me and my voice wobbled – this happens occasionally. Professionalism and emotion do not have to be opposites.   more »