Of my own free will I  joined  Face book.   The free will went a bit like this: One minute I was fixing up some dinner and then I heard a bleep  from the computer screenin the office and then I heard myself saying “Must. Join. Computer. Facebook. Must. Join. Computer. Facebook.” And it was as natural as that.

I joined. Then a Facebook program trawled my address book, finds my friends and colleagues and asks me would I like to become friends with them. Like, how cool is that.  I am independent. I am in control. I press “YES” while in  my head   “mustjoincomputerfacebook” repeats in a continuous loop. NIce. I am in control of this thing.  It even says I am in control on the screen. It says “You  Are In Control of Facebook. This is Your Network”.   See, if Facebook says it, then it must be true.

Within a day I have eighty friends then one fifty, two hundred.  Nice people. Good people. They send hugs to each other and eco patches. I  feel like I am inside a giant pixelated green screen field filled with herds of  Telly Tubbies who have facebook screens on their stomachs. Their arms are open wide. They are walking towards me,  or is it I to them. Look look. I thought a message and then someone’s screen lit up.  I Love this. I love it. Ooooo Click me baby. Click me. Click Meeeooaa. Cluuckkkkkk maaaaaaaagggggghhhhh Clllaaaaaaaaggggggghhhhhhhhhh maaaaaaaaauuuueeeuuuughghhhhhhhhhhhh.