Is family the training ground where fully paid up members test out and develop emotional boundaries? Is it a vast assault course where each contestant takes up the challenge of how to live with emotion? Some better than others…One paints the obstacles dayglo, another attaches ribbons to the various apparatus and another takes out a chainsaw to hack through it.
The assault course with an infinite number of variations and transmutations is tailored specifically to each individual. Do you sit in the centre and refuse to climb over or under any obstacle? Do you draw the others to you? Do you subvert instruction left behind by past generations? Do you offer instructions to anyone listening? Do you pretend there is no assault course and get stuck beneath camouflage netting? Have you found your place? There. All’s well then.
Do you become something? Are these the skill sets then employed in the wider world that rages outside? It takes half a lifetime to realise the latter and the other half to deny it. Will you have children and offer advice as to how to get through it stay under the camouflage netting. Or will you become tearful as you see them struggle as you knew they would in your heart of hearts.
There will be a child in one generation who sees through all the constructs and courses and assaults. These children who see never regard themselves special: They wake early some mornings sit in the garden and watch dew become invisible. They sit there to see if shadows, left from night, slide into earth by day. They are the dawn net of light as it flings itself across us. They whisper so quietly with such surety you must close your eyes and ears to hear them.
But times happen they cannot move on waking. Fearful eyes dart from side to side as tears weigh them down to the bed in a spiders web of glass beads Deceptively each family nominates an assassin. Somebody who must find the child in the glass bead condition. They must walk into the bedroom slip out the knife, hang it’s tip above the childs heart, and with the hunched shoulders of familial betrayal, push down.