What parent views their child between 16 and 18 as willing and able to look after themselves for the rest of their lives without ever returning for advice, financial help, a meal, to wash their clothes, to talk, to be near the radiators, to meet a relative or to smell home. Independence is relative to a point of reference. This is the nature of family. You have a lifetime to realise that it’s all relative. For the child in care access to that point of reference is often denied or worse, it’s unacknowledged. In twenty five years things have barely improved
for the care leaver.
Norman Mills my ex social worker recalls what happened when I left care in 1985. “Wigan Social Services wouldn’t give you a penny and I had to scrabble around for second hand gear. It was scandalous” This week at the Prince’s trust annual conference for National Care Leavers Children’s Minister Edward Timpson deplored the lack of provision for the care leaver as “a national scandal”.
Taking good parenting as a source for solutions to service the child in care, (crazy I know), and to recognise that childhood is recalled throughout adult life, here are three actions that any parent would give to their child if they were going to leave them forever at such a young and impressionable age. So here they are, three suggestions to improve the care system for the child leaving its care: rent free housing for the first 5 years; free education for their first 5 years; free on demand therapy for the adult throughout their lives.
Our government should be judged above all on how it treats its child. It shouldn’t take long to get used to the idea that young people in care deserve the best parenting our society can give, that they are an opportunity for us to show the excellence of our society rather than a problem to be solved. They are not the problem and they do not “leave care”. Care ceases to exist.
I agree and wholeheartedly endorse your suggestions. As someone who is close to several care leavers , and has also worked with many, I know that ongoing care and support is what is needed more than anything.
I saw your Ted video. Awesome!
Yes children need more resources after care. You are a good man caring for the children coming after you.
That’s what I’m trying to do, too. I never wanted to let my daughter go in 1980 but my parents convinced me that if I loved my daughter I would allow a married couple with money to adopt her. I loved her more than anything I had ever loved and didn’t want to be selfish. Such Bull Shit!! By the time she was eight her parents divorced and she was raised by a single woman. And the adoptive father was a very sick (in the head) man.
It wasn’t until reunion that I realized that I was coerced out of raising my daughter.
So I too want to help those coming behind me. I want to give every pregnant woman going forward with her pregnancy to know all the facts. I want her to know that her financial situation is temporary but losing her child is forever. I want her to know that even if the adoptive family looks ideal circumstances can change. And I want her to know that every child misses their mother terribly. It is never in the child’s best interest to seperate them from their mother unless she is a safety risk. Please check out the Facebook page Mothers of Loss to Adoption to meet other mothers like me that would like to make a difference.
I saw your Ted video. Awesome!
Yes children need more resources after care. You are a good man caring for the children coming after you.
That’s what I’m trying to do, too. I never wanted to let my daughter go in 1980 but my parents convinced me that if I loved my daughter I would allow a married couple with money to adopt her. I loved her more than anything I had ever loved and didn’t want to be selfish. Such Bull Shit!! By the time she was eight her parents divorced and she was raised by a single woman. And the adoptive father was a very sick (in the head) man.
It wasn’t until reunion that I realized that I was coerced out of raising my daughter.
So I too want to help those coming behind me. I want to give every pregnant woman going forward with her pregnancy to know all the facts. I want her to know that her financial situation is temporary but losing her child is forever. I want her to know that even if the adoptive family looks ideal circumstances can change. And I want her to know that every child misses their mother terribly. It is never in the child’s best interest to seperate them from their mother unless she is a safety risk. Please check out the Facebook page Mothers of Loss to Adoption to meet other mothers like me that would like to make a difference.