To Raise A Child

Stephen Ucembe watched as  the head of his mother separated  from her body. “It was on the floor over there” he said with an involuntary nod to the foreground. She was breastfeeding his baby brother. The murderer fled.  Neighbours in the village  found the children and took them to hospital. He stayed there a month. And then he was taken from his two siblings and driven to an orphanage in Kigali, the capital city of Rwanda, one hundred miles from his rural home. Noone spoke to him about what had happened. He was processed and then like all the other children he had to survive the institution. This is Stephen now after our conversation.

Rachel was sent to an orphanage because of her mother’s illness. When her mother visited to see her daughter she was beaten senseless by the guards at the gate of the orphanage and sent away. Rachel saw it all.   At fifteen the orphanage owner raped her. Later on he took her and the child as his wife proclaiming his virtue as a pastor for marrying one of the people  in his care.   Eventually she ran away from him . This is Rachel after our conversation.


I asked both if I could share their story in this blog and I shared my story with them.   In these two cases The Childrens Home needed the children more than the children needed the home. That’s the thing.    There are well meaning people doing the best they can still there is no need for the institutions of children’s homes in Rwanda or Uganda (where I visited with  Hope and Homes.)  because there is an alternative.

Rwanda has closed all its children’s homes and replaced them with a programme where children are placed with foster parents through caring social workers. The childrens homes are transformed into community centres health and well being classes, child care and ante natal classes.  One of the most famous African Proverbs is  “It takes a village to raise a child”.

1 thought on “To Raise A Child

  1. I’m sort of stuck on what to say but feel the need to comment. Wounds are deep and scars cover them over but can still be seen, or felt under clothing. Sometimes you forget they are there, but a quick glance caught in the mirror can be a sudden reminder. It takes a village to raise a child feels like there should be an additional line …. it takes city to fortify an adult? Not quite right but along those lines.
    Funny how 2 peoples stories from across the globe can instill emotion.
    Ah well – back to work.

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