Child of The State

To contradict an earlier post “Fluffy Dice” I bought a car today. I bought it from Cargiant:  a very large man selling very small cars in  very large warehouses,  ikea for cars if you like.   It was a little tricky. It's a small convertable see.  I  was compelled to press the golden  switch that  automatically makes the roof pack itself away to reveal glorious sky.

Imagine an incredible vocal  choral piece by The Polish ensemble  (something poland is famed for)  as the roof automatically disasembled  and  slowly retracted.  It was that damn glorious,   until the   roof froze  as did my excited smile. It seemed I was crying as  the first droplets of rain fell.  An half hour later and I was still there  frozen.   The salesman rushed out,  he panicked then  pressed lots of switches and eventually called the the panic mechanic who didn't panic and took it away.   Another  hour later it returned with  The panic mechanics prognosis    “It was nothing, just a switch guv.” 

Aha! This was my bargaining chip for a knockdown price.   Never being one to miss an opportunity to get the price down I summarily missed the opportunity to get the price down and bought the thing for the advertised price.  I am the homer simpson of commercial transaction. My  radio documentary Child Of The State was
broadcast today  on BBC Radio Four at 8pm.
Over the next seven days you may  listen
to it
.  The reaction and feedback has
been good rather than outstanding.  It is
time I wrote these experiences in autobiography.  And as for the car in truth – it's all good. 

1 thought on “Child of The State

  1. Hi, I was driving home last night, turned the radio on and got hooked. Thought it was an amazing and very thought provoking story, loved the picture of you walking aroung barefoot in Lancashire villages and the bit about the paint, so interested in fact that i took the trouble to look you up on the Internet. Very suspicious that the state have conveniently lost your history so no difficult questions to answer or alternatively sheer incompetence! Anyway just ordered your latest book on Amazon and look forward to reading it. All Best Ed

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